


kintsukuroi is only beautiful if youre not the one picking up the pieces

by 90kg_anvil



Series: 3H Kinkmeme Fills [6]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Depression, Emetophobia, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump, i know what the tags say but this is hopeful at the end i swear, seriously please look at the notes for each chapter for detailed warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/90kg_anvil/pseuds/90kg_anvil
Summary: Originally written for and posted on the 3H Kinkmeme.Karen von Hellion, new transfer to the Blue Lions, is going to fix Garreg Mach. Demanding to talk to the church higher-ups didn't work (Seteth just told her that the staff was investigating all reported student and staff misconduct), and waiting for everyone to sort things out themselves is utterly ridiculous.Prince Dimitri and Felix won't stop fighting, Bernadetta won't face the real world, Linhardt shies away from blood in spite of being a healer, Sylvain won't stop flirting, Princess Edelgard keeps trying to fight Lady Rhea, Professor Manuela's dates won't treat her well, Hilda's chronically lazy, Constance is maniacally chasing a pipe dream, Marianne's wallowing is pathetic, and Ingrid's meddling father needs to be put in his place.She thinks she'll start with Sylvain.See notes for detailed warnings and prompt.
Relationships: Jeralt Reus Eisner & My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth & Sothis, Sylvain Jose Gautier & My Unit | Byleth
Series: 3H Kinkmeme Fills [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148606
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger 😂

**Author's Note:**

> See chapter notes for detailed warnings and prompt, especially if you're on the fence about this one. The prompt (chapter 1 endnote) is more or less a blueprint for exactly what happens in this fic. The comfort is in chapter 2. Take care of yourselves!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DETAILED WARNINGS: onscreen violence (including, on a technicality, dating violence), dehumanization (typical for felix and dimitri pre-skip), suicidal ideation (multiple characters, but no active attempts), mild descriptions of injury, an onscreen panic attack, references to self-harm, references to alcohol abuse, extremely bad advice for people with depression

Karen von Hellion, new transfer to the Blue Lions, is going to fix Garreg Mach. Demanding to talk to the church higher-ups didn't work (Seteth just told her that the staff was investigating all reported student and staff misconduct), and waiting for everyone to sort things out themselves is utterly ridiculous.

Prince Dimitri and Felix won't stop fighting, Bernadetta won't face the real world, Linhardt shies away from blood in spite of being a healer, Sylvain won't stop flirting, Princess Edelgard keeps trying to fight Lady Rhea, Professor Manuela's dates won't treat her well, Hilda's chronically lazy, Constance is maniacally chasing a pipe dream, Marianne's wallowing is pathetic, and Ingrid's meddling father needs to be put in his place.

She thinks she'll start with Sylvain.

\---

Karen enlists her good friend Jeanette, who had been casually flirting with Sylvain, to be out on a public date so Karen can drop the "news" that he's cheating and Jeanette can stage a massive, explosive fight.

It's for the greater good. Even when Jeanette clocks him straight in the eye.

Sylvain hits the ground and stays there. He doesn't even have the balls to look at her.

Karen taunts loudly for everyone to hear. "Think you get a free pass to cheat just because you have your family Relic now?"

"Damn. Can't stay loyal, can't even take a punch. Guess he really is worthless, huh?" Jeanette smirks.

Karen smiles. With all the people who heard the two of them talking, there are bound to be rumors. Maybe that'll finally teach him a lesson about womanizing. "Oh, absolutely."

\---

The problem of Felix and Prince Dimitri has a simple solution: lock them in a room together so that they're forced to talk to each other.

Karen does exactly that as they both enter the armory to retrieve practice weapons for class, putting an enchanted padlock on the door and bolting it shut.

\---

Felix is screaming loudly enough that Byleth is surprised nobody else tried to look for him.

"Don't act like something you're not! Look at me, boar! Don't try to pretend that you're too dignified for this conversation! I said _look at me_!!!"

Byleth tries picking the lock as quickly as they can. This must have been deliberate.

Unhappily, "You're right, Felix. I am a monster."

"NO! You do _not_ get to give up on yourself like this!"

"I don't understand what you want from me."

This lock is impossible. Crap, maybe bolt cutters?

"Be honest! That's all I've ever wanted from you, but of course you can't see it, you stupid fucking animal!"

"Felix, if you hate me so much, then kill me."

Stunned silence. Byleth casts Fire at the door and it doesn't even budge.

"Excuse me?!"

"You'll put us both out of our misery."

"Put us _both_ \---"

Byleth blasts the door open with Bolganone.

When the smoke clears, Byleth sees Felix standing in front of Dimitri like a shield, right arm visibly broken where the door must have slammed into it at explosive speed, breathing so hard his torso shakes with it. Dimitri is deathly still.

"Felix... you... you didn't have to---"

"You think you're better off dead. Unbelievable. Don't try to talk to me again."

Felix storms out, cradling his injured arm to his chest.

Dimitri stares through Byleth, haunted.

\---

Almost everyone has collectively been avoiding Sylvain, which is excellent, and he's even been wearing his uniform properly with the sleeves rolled down, but it's a bit of a shame that it took a black eye to get him there.

Oh, well. At least he isn't being a public nuisance.

Next up on the list is Linhardt.

He's lazy and rude, but his biggest issue is that, in spite of primarily being a healer, he's absolutely terrified of blood.

Finding the blood was easy; the kitchens always leave buckets of it out in the early mornings when they're butchering the meat for the day.

She puts the bucket on a wall right next to where he's sleeping and powerwalks away. He's bound to see it when he wakes up.

\---

Byleth finds Linhardt curled in a ball, shaking, absolutely drenched in blood.

Oh, fuck. He's gasping for breath.

Byleth casts Heal on instinct as they run over. "Linhardt!"

He doesn't respond.

Byleth sits down in front of him. "Linhardt? Can you hear me?"

Head in hands, he nods once.

"Did someone attack you?"

He shakes his head.

"Are you injured?"

He shakes his head.

So this is someone else's blood. Byleth isn't sure whether to be relieved or horrified. He's probably having a panic attack, then. "Breathe with me. In for four, hold for six, out for five."

He doesn't get it for the first few cycles, but he catches on eventually.

Byleth takes stock of the surroundings: there's a bucket on the ground with a little bit of blood still inside and a cat batting at a butterfly on the wall right above Linhardt. The simplest explanation is that the cat knocked it over, but why was there a bucket of blood sitting out in the first place?

Much, much later, Linhardt lowers his hands from where they've been covering his eyes. "Professor."

"Are you feeling better?"

"I am going to jump in the lake."

"To get the blo---"

"Yes, that."

"Can you swim?"

"Of course I can."

"Okay. I'll be at the edge of the docks."

Linhardt nods, haphazardly pushes himself to his feet, and briskly walks into the lake. There are blooms of red where the blood rinses out, and Byleth wonders idly if it'll attract more fish. True to his word, however, Linhardt does know how to swim, and he never shows any signs of potential drowning.

After about ten minutes, he takes Byleth's offered hand and clambers back onto the docks.

"How are you feeling," Byleth asks.

Linhardt considers. "Horrible. Better. I doubt I'll have another... episode. I have to go change clothes now. Excuse me."

Linhardt leaves.

"How odd," Sothis comments, "I wonder who left the bucket of blood. And after Dimitri and Felix were locked in together.... Hm. Another mystery."

Byleth nods.

\---

Constance hasn't been above ground lately, so Karen decides to help out Bernadetta. She's pretty scrawny and weak, so it's very easy for Karen to drag her down to a tavern at the base of Garreg Mach.

Admittedly, Bernadetta has a very public freakout, but, hey! The first step is always the hardest.

\---

Byleth used to think that Bernadetta having her own private bathroom just enabled her to hide away, often to her detriment, but in this particular circumstance, Byleth is grateful that she has it.

It's been three days since Bernadetta was seen coming out of her room, according to everyone Byleth's talked to, and the only person she's even responded to is Alois.

A single shrieked sob in response to an announcement that there's food waiting outside her door is... how to put this politely? A shitshow.

Byleth knocks on her door. "Bernie?"

There's no response, as expected.

"Bernie, it's Professor Byleth. Some of your classmates made copies of their lecture notes and wanted me to give them to you."

No response.

"It's okay, Bernie. Nobody's going to make you leave, but we are all looking forward to having you back."

No response.

"I'm leaving the notes outside your door. You can come back whenever you need to. We're here for you."

No response.

"It's okay," Sothis says. "I'm sure she'll come out eventually."

Byleth makes a mental note to make sure multiple people check in on Bernadetta every day for the next few weeks.

\---

"Hi, Marianne," Karen says as she enters the stables. Sylvain hasn't been skulking around here lately, which is convenient for what she's trying to do right now.

Marianne barely looks up. "Huh? Oh. Hi. Can I help you?"

"Yep! It's about your attitude."

Marianne hangs her head in sorrow. "I'm sorry."

"No, that's exactly the problem. What are you moping around for? You've got no reason to be sad. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself."

"I... I'll try." She seems sincere.

Karen lists a bunch of things that have helped her and other people when she gets sad --- including something called "yoga" from east of Almyra --- and finishes with the reminder to smile more, because things aren't _that_ bad.

"Chin up, Marianne, and don't forget that when you act like this, it only hurts the people around you."

"Okay."

Good talk!

\---

This has got to be Karen's most brilliant stroke of genius yet: setting up an audience between Princess Edelgard and Archbishop Rhea and letting them talk out their differences.

The two of them are so similar, they're bound to get along!

\---

Rhea calls a staff meeting to discuss student insubordination. It's probably the single most uncomfortable meeting Byleth has ever had the misfortune to attend.

Rhea is just as poisonous in her wrath as she was with the leaders of the Western Church, railing against heresy as if she were the second coming of Seiros herself, except this time she's talking about _children_ who are under her protection and authority. It's more than a little terrifying to watch.

The agenda at the end: implement an expanded curriculum on the Church's teachings, remind students of the Church's power (possibly using Lonato as an example), and go through the history of the Church as it relates to the founding of each of the three countries (with particular attention to the Empire), starting _tomorrow_.

Tomorrow's lesson happens.

Edelgard is so angry she breaks three practice axes while sparring and nearly sends Ferdinand to the infirmary. Tea with Byleth barely calms her down.

\---

Byleth is in the Abyss library when they see Constance sitting around morosely.

"Oh, hello, Professor. Please do not concern yourself with me."

Byleth nods in acknowledgement and turns to find that "insect" tome that detailed ---

Wait. They're not in the sunlight.

"Constance? What happened to you?"

"Some bitch told her it was ridiculous to think she could ever rebuild House Nuvelle, so she should stop trying," Hapi interrupts from a balcony above. "She also told me not to let everyone get to me because they're scared for a good reason. I almost sighed right then and there."

"Who is she?"

"Some student with brown hair. Honestly, they all look the same. Yuribird's already working on trying to figure out who it is."

"A student came down here unattended?"

"Nope," Hapi says, popping the p. "She was acting as Manuela's wingman. I don't think Manuela asked her to, and from what I heard, it ended very badly for everyone involved."

Sothis hums inquisitively. "Do you think this could be the same person who's been causing trouble for everyone else?"

It's possible.

"I hope Yuri finds her quickly," Byleth says, because there's really nothing else to say right now.

"I hope so too," Constance agrees, eyes downcast. "There’s already been too much trouble on my behalf."

\---

Hilda really is just sleeping when she's supposed to be on duty. Karen wakes her up with a slap.

"Oww! Hey! What the hell!!!"

"How lazy can you get?"

Hilda stands up, livid. "I finished my task! Who cares if I take a nap afterwards?"

"You're supposed to report to the Professor so you can get another task!"

Hilda bats her eyelashes, suddenly coy. "Oh, was I? Silly me."

Karen rolls her eyes. "Don't pretend you didn't know. You've been lazing around this entire year, and being cute will only get you so far. You'd better pick up the slack or you'll fall behind and be utterly useless."

Hilda stares at her for a long moment before shoving Karen out of the way on her way out.

Damn, Hilda's strong. That hurt.

\---

"Stupid--- aaaah!"

Byleth pokes their head into the infirmary storage room. Marianne and Hilda are organizing the shelves together as usual, but this time it's Hilda who's wringing her hands.

"It's all right, Hilda. It was an accident."

"Yeah, the fourth accident today! Seiros, I really am useless."

Okay, that's concerning. Byleth steps into the room. "Did someone say something to you?"

Hilda and Marianne look up, nervous.

"I won't judge," Byleth promises.

"Yes," Marianne finally answers. "To both of us."

"What did they say?"

"She said Marianne should force herself to be happy, and that I need to work harder to pull my weight."

Sothis hovers in front of Byleth, commanding their attention. "See? The culprit is an active threat! You must get her expelled!"

Byleth shakes their head. They're not having this argument again in public. "She's been bothering other people as well for these past couple of weeks. Do you know her name, or could you describe her?"

They both shake their heads and give a vague description of a student with shoulder-length brown hair.

"Thank you both. Please try not to let what she said get to you. Marianne, you shouldn't ever feel bad or guilty for not being 'happy enough.' Hilda, the reason I assign you tasks and deploy you in battle is because you are valuable. Don't let anyone tell you you're useless. All right?"

They both nod. Byleth knows damned well it's not enough to undo the damage.

"All right. I'll leave you to your organizing."

\---

Byleth looks at the last confession note. It's in unfamiliar, sloppy handwriting, as if written in someone's non-dominant hand or while significantly impaired.

_Nobody wants me in their life. ~~I know it's what I deserve, but~~ I've known for a while that everyone would be better off without me, but I thought after last month things would get better. Maybe I'd be happier, or something. I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter in the end. Not when I'm worthless. ~~I just want to be good enough to be wanted~~  
_

_Goddess, I'm pathetic. Sorry for taking up so much of your time.  
_

_Please tell my friends I love them, since I can never say it right._

Byleth takes a moment to deal with the unexpected spike of panic.

Traumatized and emotionally stunted as many of their students are, this is the closest they've seen to an actual suicide note.

This isn't Marianne's handwriting, nor is it Dimitri's, and both would either come out and directly say their concerns, or not at all.

This is someone who doesn't want to be recognized but is nonetheless being pushed to the brink.

Oh, fuck. Oh, _fuck_. The ink on this is nowhere near fresh. Byleth needs to find this person _immediately_ before it's too late, and ---

"Do you think it's Ashe?" Sothis asks, staying calm. Byleth is grateful for it.

Byleth shakes their head. True, he's had a very hard time after Lonato's death, but he's finally started to come back to normal. It's likely not Bernadetta, either, because she's completely refused to leave her room since last week's fiasco. Constance hasn't left Abyss, and Hilda's been more anxious than melancholy.

That only leaves ---

"Byleth, please do not panic. He's not necessarily in immediate danger, and even if ...the worst has come to pass, you can always turn back the hands of time."

Byleth full sprints to Sylvain's room.

Mercifully, they do not have to use Divine Pulse.

\---

Professor Byleth appears to be running late today. That's fine. It gives Karen more time to write her scathing letter to Count Galatea.

Hmm. _You're a horrible, inconsiderate father_ or _Ingrid deserves better than you as a parent_?

Someone taps her on the shoulder.

She scowls. "Can I help you?"

Yuri Leclerc peers down at her. "Awfully inflammatory letter to write."

"Mind your own business."

Yuri smiles, all teeth. "Funny you should say that. Why don't we take a walk?"

"I'm in class."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure my friend --- sorry, your professor --- won't mind."

"Leave me alone. I don't have to answer to you."

Yuri's smile widens. "No, but the Archbishop has been _so eager_ to meet whoever arranged her little argument with Edelgard."

Karen crosses her arms. "Are you threatening me?"

Yuri laughs. "Finally caught on, did you? Walk with me. That's not a question."

Karen looks around the room. It feels like everyone is glaring at her.

She gets up. "Fine."

\---

Byleth sits with their head in their hands.

After Yuri confirmed that Karen von Hellion was, in fact, the person who had been making everyone's lives miserable, Byleth took this information to Seteth, and from there, Byleth has no idea.

Everyone made it through alive, but there's no denying just how bad things nearly got.

What if Byleth messes up this badly when their students come to them for advice? They know they've given answers to confession box questions and office hours consultations that have been unpopular, but they'd never imagined that giving the wrong answer could be so ...catastrophic.

"I'm sure you wouldn't do that," Sothis says.

But how would she know? She's nowhere near as omniscient as you would assume from someone named The Beginning.

"Hey! I know enough."

Sure.

The door to the staff meeting room opens. Familiar footsteps approach.

"Hey, kiddo," Jeralt says, pulling up a seat next to Byleth. "Bad day, huh?"

Byleth nods. "You have no idea."

"I heard some of it. Do you want a hug?"

Byleth nods again and slumps sideways into Jeralt. He wraps his arms around them and hums the same lullaby he used to sing when Byleth had nightmares of war and being carved into a weapon while still alive.

"It's all right, kiddo. I've got you."

Byleth knows there's so much work to be done, that their students need them now more than ever, that they'll have one hell of a time trying to pick up the rest of the broken pieces and un-fuck-up everything that's happened these past few weeks.

But for now, they close their eyes and let the old lullaby soothe the ache in their silent ribcage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:
> 
> I want a fic where an NPC monastery student or maybe a monk sees how Garreg Mach is full of fucked up people and decides it's their job to try to fix everything. Unfortunately, their efforts are pushy and clueless and they just end up making things worse. Examples:
> 
> -trying to force Dimitri and Felix to make up by locking them in a room leads to even more fighting and anger and the two of them avoiding each other  
> -dragging Bernadetta to social events and forcing her to talk to people gives her a nervous breakdown  
> -exposure therapy to cure Linhardt's hemophobia causes panic attacks  
> -deeming Constance's quest "unhealthy" and trying to make her move on makes her act like her "in the sun" self all the time  
> -sending a nasty letter to Count Galatea on Ingrid's behalf when she vents about his trying to marry her off leads the man to believe his daughter hates him when she doesn't  
> -demanding Manuela's dates stay with her because she's lonely and needs a man  
> -trying to make Rhea and Edelgard understand each other's point of view makes both women even angrier because they're way more alike than anyone realizes  
> -hitting Hilda when she does her lazy shtick makes her even more worried and causes her to fuck up at every task  
> -hitting Sylvain whenever he misbehaves around women makes him hate himself even more and even borderline suicidal
> 
> Or whatever else you can think of. The important thing is that Garreg Mach becomes even more of a mess thanks to this NPC meddling and Byleth has to do some REAL damage control.
> 
> I'd like it to have a happy ending, though, relatively speaking. Not an "everything is better now" but no permanently broken friendships or suicides or murders.


	2. CIWA q4 + SP q15, ROI includes all classmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by op's request, a short epilogue where the healing begins
> 
> or: sylvain gets therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: alcohol, non-explicit emeto, suicidal ideation, reference to self-harm, reference to abuse (child abuse and domestic violence), depressed narration

i.

Sylvain doesn't remember writing something for the confession box, but he's also not sure he'd remember much of anything after drinking half his blood volume in hard liquor.

He knows for certain that he didn't expect Professor Byleth to bust down his room door while he was still hunched over a bucket in the early hours of the morning and hug him like ~~his~~ their life depended on it.

(They also gave him a vulnerary and told him he was loved and valued. It was mortifying.)

They allowed him to take the day off on two conditions:

1) He goes to the infirmary.

2) Byleth can tell the Blue Lions where he is, should they want to visit him.

So here he is. Lying in the infirmary, taking up space for no good reason. The vulnerary and Manuela's hangover cure have long since made him feel better. As far as he's concerned, there's no reason he has to be under constant observation.

(Annette had practically stomped her foot when he said that. "But you were poisoned! Of course you need to be taken care of!")

That's the odd thing, too. People have actually been stopping by.  
~~~~

~~If that was really all it took to get people's attention, maybe he should've tried being pathetic in the confession box earlier.~~

Anyway.

ii.

Mercedes and Annette bring him sweets and the story of how they nearly burnt down the kitchens to make them. Annette passionately defends herself, insisting that the kitchen is inherently hazardous and she's not _that_ clumsy. Mercedes takes Sylvain's hand and doesn't comment on the poorly healed scars on his forearms.

iii.

"If you're looking for poisons," Manuela says after she checks his pulse again, "alcohol is very slow-acting. Goddess knows I've been drinking long enough to tell you this."

Sylvain grins and winks cheekily. "Know where to find the fast-acting ones?"

He'd like to pretend that it's a joke. Manuela folds her arms, concerned.

"Just kidding, Professor."

"No, you weren't, and that just earned you another two hours here."

Sylvain tries to look as seductive as he can. "C'mon, Manuela. Let me show you just how okay I am."

"Make that four."

iv.

Felix and Ingrid come by with lunch for the three of them, and neither chastise him even once.

It's nice.

v.

Seteth drops by for some reason, asking about someone named Karen, and --- did Seteth mean the same Karen who started the huge thing that led to Sylvain getting beaten, publicly humiliated, and widely shunned and, oh, fuck, that sounds so much worse than it actually was when he says it out loud, haha ignore him.

Seteth asks for more details and Sylvain ends up telling him the entire thing from the beginning, black eye and all, and how that really fucked him up even though he's used to being hit by his dates when they find out how much of a scumbag he is, and, shit, for that matter, he's used to getting the daylights beat out of him by his own _family_ , so in the grand scheme of things this really shouldn't have rattled him, right? Sure, it was in public and happened less than a week after he killed Miklan, but he's stronger than this, you know? It's the isolation that got to him, he thinks. Being hated is one thing, but being ignored....

Seteth listens attentively and without judgement, and it feels marginally better to get it off his chest.

vi.

Ashe and Dedue bring him flowers and a pot of Bergamot tea. Dedue quietly explains that he's been trying to shut down the rumors about Sylvain, and with Ashe as a character witness, people will probably start coming around soon.

They did that even though he's a no-good, cheating womanizer.

Sylvain hasn't wanted to cry so strongly in years. He spills tea on himself instead.

vii.

Sylvain wonders how Bernadetta's doing. She's been in her room for more than a week, and he had been one of the people to go check on her.

It's funny. They're both trapped in place, and people have been sent to make sure they're still alive.

Ha. Isn't it hilarious? He's just as mentally stable as Bernadetta.

...Fuck.

viii.

Yuri stops by, looking like a fox who killed a farmer and is now allowed to feast in the henhouse. He gives Sylvain a hand-painted box with sweets inside.

"You were the final nail in the coffin," Yuri explains. "Thanks to you, Abyss won't have to deal with that meddler anymore."

"O...kay?"

"Get some rest. I've got to check in with Constance."

ix.

Dimitri brings him dinner. He looks at Sylvain like he knows _exactly_ what happened, but he only offers to hold hands while they eat. That's fine. Sylvain isn't in a chatty mood either. They watch the candlelit shadows on the walls for a while.

Sylvain gets the feeling that he’s not the only one who needed physical contact tonight.

x.

Byleth drops by looking utterly exhausted right at the end of visiting hours.

Their opener is, "Nice box."

Sylvain looks at it. It really is a nice box. He'll have to write a thank you note to Yuri. "Thanks. It was a gift."

Byleth hums. "Look, this has been a long day for the both of us, so I'll cut the crap. Sylvain, we want you around. All of us. I know you might not believe me right now, and that's fine, but---"

"It's not that I don't believe you, necessarily. A lot of people stopped by, which means that, objectively, they're okay with being in my company, but---" and he really doesn't need to be saying this out loud, but, shit, Byleth looks like they need to hear it. "I don't see _why_ they'd want me around."

Byleth shakes their head and sits down next to him. "You're a good friend. I don't see why not."

Sylvain wants to scream. "I'm a horrible person. I lie, I cheat, I fuck around. I'm never there when people really need me. For fuck's sake, I killed my own brother."

"You always help people out. You took Hilda's books in for her, you helped Annette with some Reason homework --- yes, she told me --- and you've been checking in on Bernadetta every day since she locked herself in there. And those are just the things I've seen around the monastery."

He snaps. "It doesn't matter!"

Sylvain waits for a blow that doesn't come.

Byleth takes a deep breath. "Fine. You don't believe me. Then how about this: for whatever reason, people have decided to care about you. They like having you around. And you like them too. You want them in your life. So let them be there for you. Don't sit here convincing yourself that you don't deserve their love, because that's a waste of everyone's time, okay? You don't need to justify your own existence in order to live it."

Sylvain feels his anger bleed out of him. "You know I didn't actually try to kill myself, right?"

"Can you tell me in all honesty that you don't want to?"

Shit, he can't keep looking at the pity on their face. "No."

"Then let us help you out for once."

Sylvain closes his eyes.

"Sylvain, I thought I'd lost you this morning. I thought I'd open your room door and find you dead. Do you have any idea how terrifying that was? It's bad enough when I have to send you out onto a battlefield, but to think that I could just _lose you_ at any moment---"

"Okay," Sylvain interrupts, opening his eyes.

"Okay?"

"I... learned my lesson, or whatever. I'll ask for help."

"Really?"

Sylvain swallows. People want him alive. "I'll try."

Byleth slowly leans in to give him a hug. Mercifully, they don't comment when he starts shaking, just squeeze tighter until the tension is forced out of his body. When they break apart, Byleth is smiling.

"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> finally de-anoning to post my kinkmeme fills here


End file.
